h. writes

Can I tell you?

I feel like I just stepped off the plane, like I just walked into town for the first time. I feel like I just heard my first Tonga song, like I just had my first taste of nshima. I feel like I just witnessed a birth, like I just met my first orphan. I feel like I’m losing something. I feel like I’m leaving something a part of me behind.

In all actuality, I don’t know how to write what I’m feeling. I was thinking about my final post, how I wanted it to be something good, something moving, something that would make people say “wow, she must have done amazing things in Africa!”. I sat, staring at my computer screen for a long time, trying to formulate the perfect sentence, one powerful statement that would capture the magnitude of what these past three months have meant for me. Nothing came.

What can I say? How can I explain the violent downpour of emotions rushing through my body? Do I tell you that I’m scared? That I’m terrified at the call that I feel has been placed on my life. Do I tell you that I don’t want to leave, that I feel like I could be happy here forever? Do I reveal my excitement at the prospect of the future? Can I tell you that I’m afraid to go home? That I’m worried about how I will adapt to the life I left behind? Should I tell you about the faces that have been burned into my memory, the voices that I will carry with me forever? Can I tell you these things? Will you understand?

All I can say is that I am leaving here a changed person. I feel like I have learned so much about myself and the people of Zambia that I have come to love so dearly. Most of all though, I have learned more about who God is. I have learned what it means to be a servant, to give sacrificially of yourself, to dedicate your life to serving others with no hope of receiving something in return. I have learned to serve wholeheartedly as if you were serving the Lord, not men.

Thank you so much for allowing me to pour my heart out to you. Your prayers and encouragement have meant so much. There have been times here that I have felt extremely far from home and writing has been a wonderful way for me to process all that I have experienced and put them in words for you to read. I hope you have enjoyed hearing about my adventures, as much as I’ve enjoyed sharing them. Until…Next time?!? :)

xox
Haley

Safari and Vic Falls

Right now I am sitting in the ZigZag bed and breakfast coffee shop. It is almost 10pm and I am one of the last customers of the night. I’m so content, listening to the rain pouring down on the tin roof above me, feeling the cool breeze blow in gently from the open brick archways across the room. What a perfect ending to an amazing day!

This morning I climbed into a large open truck (just like you see in the movies) and headed to my very first safari! We drove for two hours through the bush and along the Zambezi River taking in the sights and sounds of Africa. We saw huge baboons, a pack of hippos, loads of impala, crocodiles, and beautiful giraffes! It was so much fun.

Later that day we headed to one of the seven natural wonders of the world, Victoria Falls! It was magnificent! Because we arrived at the very end of the dry season, a lot of the falls were dry, and we were able to see to the bottom of the tremendous gorge. It was amazing to see a waterfall that was twice the height of Niagara.

After the falls we headed to the market for some shopping. I walked along the path back to the market with Heather as a giant baboon walked five feet behind us! I’ve never been a fan of baboons. They’re mean, and to find out that the large ones have the teeth of a full grown lion made my heart flip flop a little. We made it to the market and were able to shop for about an hour and a half. Let me just tell you, I have become a master bargainer! I love it! I bought an amazing wooden Africa map for 80,000 K, a pair of socks, and a hair tie! Tell me I’m not good!

Tomorrow we are going to a crocodile farm where they breed and raise crocs. Time is flying by…saying goodbye to Choma was the hardest thing I’ve had to do in a long time. Tears were flowing as we drove though town for the last time. How do you say goodbye to people who have become you family? Choma is a place I will always hold dear to my heart.

xox
Haley